Tuesday, May 5, 2009

my shuruat !

Django paid me a visit just now. No, I don’t know some exotic African princess by the same name. she is just a dear friend and the sister of another dear friend of mine , a friend named James, who abandoned India, its filth, traffic and heat and moved on to London , to an upmarket McKinsey job and white girlfriends.
We discussed what could be the best option to move forward in my life. I suggested writing a blog. She jumped on to it. She thinks I have an amazing potential for it. I think so too, just no potential to make people read it, especially when I face stiff competition from mr bachchan, mr amir khan and of course the fake ipl blogger..
I always fancied myself as a jack of all trades, and master of not even commerce, as I barely managed to finish my bachelors degree.. When you are twenty something, you enjoy the feeling of being such a jack, but when you are fast approaching forty, in both your age and in your midriff size, you start begging to differ. The problem with people like me is that we can never decide, what we want to do, as we think we can do everything, much better than even specialists in that field. We are born commentators; we have a comment on everything, sitting comfortably in our cushioned homes, generally at times of extreme lethargy and acute boredom. So an average journalist irritates us. he doesn’t know anything worth asking , an average film is so badly written , a singer cant sing to save his life, a writer doesn’t know the w of writing, Indian cricket team is full of hyped mediocres, you become film stars by either birth or sleeping around, and critics are either partial, pushed or sold.
I think I am like many others around my age and my space is going through what can be loosely written, off, or abused as mid life crises. It shows everywhere. You wake up in the morning to find out that you are neither married, nor divorced, neither in a relationship nor out of it ,neither have kids biologically nor through adoption ,hide away from being suspected to be either impotent or gay, and deal with the loss of being the head turner you earlier were. You look for solutions everywhere, from pumping an extra kilo in your gym, to applying for vippassna courses in beautiful surroundings, you visit siddivinayak temple one day and declare you are an atheist the next .you talk to friends who seem disinterested, and you can’t afford counsellors. Every other person seems to be happier, in better jobs, in better homes, with better partners. You are the only one who has missed the bus, train, flight everything and are slowly even forgetting to walk.
And you have probably forgotten even good English!
So how to write this blog when this seems to be the only safe and cheap option you are left with at this stage?
I thought and thought and thought and finally decided to try. Funny I got inspired (rather got a reality check) from two rather mundane lines, which reflected a lot of meaning now. The first from a play I do called “class of 84” where the protagonist finally summarizes, “you cannot regain lost youth, just cannot recapture your past “… how true for all of us! And the second from the film “Ghost”, where a dead creature re-emerges and says “use time, that’s all you have “.
I have just read this brilliant masterpiece and have realized that I have hardly made any sense... But I would not delete it. That’s the easy way out.. I would rather be abused, ignored, ridiculed for it, then lie on my bed and criticise another bad tv serial….after all, “aur bhi gham hain zamane mein ek blog ke siva “.
The night of may the 5th 2009,, Delhi daredevils have defeated Kolkata knight riders.